THE WRITER WHO NEVER SAT (# 74,991)
The backside and the head have much in common and are conjoined in the act of writing.
So as an experiment, I write this lying down on my belly.
Not only is it a great workout for my mid-life belly, but it also exercises my brain in an unconventional manner, although may you be the judge of that.
OLD COUPLES AS YOUNG LOVERS
With 157 years and 7 inches between them, they sat on a sofa for the first time and slowly sank into each others’ lap. Their limbs touched and stayed touched. This capsize did what 60 years of dining chairs never could. It crippled their control.
LIGHTING FOR WRITING (# 74,992)
Squint. We’ll all be doing more of it so get used to it. As power plays hard to get, lights will dim or sleep wherever they can to save energy. The flip side is we use more energy to see – ie: we squint. Sneakily, in the Tate Modern 6th floor members room, 18 spotlights are in hibernation as part of a fiscal/social experiment. Lower lighting lowers conversation levels and saves money, but does it affect words? Paradise Lost was written by an all but blind Milton and chemists crack equations by staring at the sun. Maybe if we alternate the light and write to the blink of a strobe, we can all win a Nobel.
DECIDUOUS CHIN
Every time he heard a sound that filled his heart, his head fell back to exercise his pack of chins. The creases shone white in summer and red in winter, while the chins kept their ruddy tan all year round.
ESCALATOR HANDRAIL DICTATION (# 74,993)
When leaning on an escalator handrail to steday your written thoughts, set the page a good 2 inches ahead to allow for snapback.
POTTERING PEACEBROKERS
Women can move things in ways men can’t. These moves seems incidental, but collectively they mount up to a seismic mass, which collectively repositions many social itches, which collectively assuages humanitarian irreversibilities, which collectively ushers in world peace while the men are trying to crack the big fat equation in a show of intellectual machismo.