PUNCTUATION CASTRATION (# 74,973)
In reading this (short pause) one tries (sharp pause) albeit placebolically (pause) to breathe at the cues that make the words and their rhythm easy (pause) (or rather hyphen) pleasy.
THE ADULTERY COLUMN
Bonnie Grier was sensed leaving David Dimbleby’s Mudeford beach hut at 4.15am. We cannot prove this event photographically, but imagining them together is indeed a more powerful experience. Polygamy between intellectual elders is on the up according to a recent study by an intern at The Church of Latter Day Saints of No Fixed Abode.
Micah Richards has finished with Kiera Knightly and returned to his wife and Basalt, their Abyssinian cat. Manchester City manager Mark Hughes said he was ‘ecstatic’ for Micah and hoped that it would not affect their push for 14th.
Mike Skinner of The Streets is seeing Robert de Niro. They attended The Damned United premiere in Worcester with no facial hair disguise whatsoever.
Stephen Fry’s celibacy is over. That’s all we know right now.