FACTOONS

Steve Bell, are you reading? If this man was given the entire Guardian to write as one long strip of acid-etched truth, we would all quit whingeing and start achieving once again. All facets of life would burgeon tenfold by the removal of the inhibitor gland that governs our rational being. The factoon form would seep into all forms of media and culture until we realise that only by ridiculing ourselves will we ever get the tough stuff done.

Pass the man a nib.

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