HUMAN HIBERNATION

Would

a) do away with the need to put the clocks back, and

b) resolve the world’s energy crisis as we’d be all running on economy 7, and

c) kill off the curd of an aging population in a peaceful and humane manner, and

d) send the recession on gardening leave, and

e) permit all evergreens to become deciduous, and

f) synchronize national childbirth so that the first 6 months of a baby’s life are spent asleep, and

g) allow winters to get as cold as they used to, therefore staving off global warming, and

h) enable traditional hibernators to live all year round to see how bloody hard it is, and

i) give footballers a mid-season break of 26 weeks, and

j) make roads 100% safe for hedgehogs, and

k) crucify Christmas.

All those in favour, curl up in a ball and head for the nearest bunker.

October 24, 2009
Filed Under What we're all thinking

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