2010 LOOKS WELL IN A WAY 2009 NEVER COULD

It sounds like a dance move.

It’s a natural born downsizer.

It’s even and even numbers wear keels.

It’s the end of a dirty decade.

It is mother and child, father and son, full fat and semi-skimmed.

It would make a better pair of glasses than the millennium, especially at an angle.

It tells the truth about 2011 in a way 2009 never could about 2010.

CHESTNUT HUSK INSIDE FINGERNAILS (# 74,945)

I was hoping to discuss the pain of backs and its effect on writing, but 7 of my fingers are arguing for their case to be heard. Beneath each one sits the husk and skin of partially boiled chestnuts. These soft splinters are as though I’ve been dragged backwards on a balsa wood floor against my will. Not worth reinacting, believe me.¬† The top of each nail resembles a sun-bleached windbreak.

It is not a night to write.

ONE HANDED POST (# 74,946)

I write this with one hand as my daughter of 7 months sleeps in the other hand preventing certain keys from being hit such as the brackets above 9 and 0.

The sensation reminds me of Albert the one-armed washer-upper from Robin’s Nest and his astonishing appearance in In The Name Of The Father as a last minute replacement for Pete Postlethwaite.

Wash up one-handedly and you’ll back me on this one.

BOOK OF THE MINUTE (# 74,947)

file:///Users/pete/Desktop/what-matters-now-2.pdf

MONK SUES TWITTER FOR $3.1BN FOR BREACH OF COPYRIGHT

The quality of the here and now, the present moment, what am i doing right now, has never been more in. Monks have been at it for years without needing to publicize their every waking thought and action. Then along comes some tech-head who plugs in a few wires, rips off the idea of ‘thisnessing’ and in doing so, makes a few bob. Fair play to him or not? If Tibet got their act together, they could take the IP of their belief to Brussels and let the laws that be decide who’s in breach of who.

One more muddled question: If Buddhists only ever truly live in the present moment, how will they know if they came up with the idea first?

RAINING INSIDE THIS MACHINE

Tune into Resonance FM at 104.4FM right now and hear the showers beneath this screen to the backdrop of a piano that has been drinking with Tom Waits.

THE GREATEST FIELD ALIVE

has:

a tree in the middle-ish

a makeshift ladder nailed to it with inconsistent rungs

a horse staring at the ladder in contemplation that it can actually climb the tree

All this, I saw today.

PLEASANT FATALITY

Towards the end of a four hour train journey today, there came this announcement in a cheery voice:

“Ladies & gentlemen, I would like to apologise for the slow running of this service due to a fatality in the Maidenhead area. Have a pleasant journey.”

We tried.

KATIE PRICE, ZIMBABWE PRESIDENT

Not sure if you caught this story tonight but in a remarkable turnaround, Robert Mugabe has agreed to step down on condition that Jordan steps in. She agreed terms on the understanding that she will appear on the A3 banknotes. This has sparked a betting frenzy online with William Hill’s system crashing due to sheer volume of wagers. Here are the latest odds on other reported political posts up for grabs along with the bookies favourites:

Iran Defence Minister: Stacey Solomon & Olly Murs 4:1

Taliban HR director: Dale Winton evens

Head of Economics, Dubai: Alan Carr 8:1 on

Copenhagen security: JLS shoe-in

EVERY LINE SPLINTERS (# 74,948)

Within every line you’ll ever write, one word will shout halt, if only momentarily and question its role in the sentence. This plants doubt in your mind. Deep doubt. Doubt about the truth of the line first born into your brain. Then the train has left the station and seized or worse still derailed. You don’t even know the destination and the journey feels pointless. But still it chugs on as blogs do in the slight chance they will be read and fed. But that lifeline is short. You are past the stroke and slipping into full coma wondering if you’ll ever feel that¬† surge again when the fingers cannot stop dancing their disco tits off.

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