PLASTIC SURGERY ON WORDS (# 74,940)
This morning a 5 year old said to me: ‘Dad, eat quick-er-est-ily’. I loved the way she slowed the word up by making it longer. Inspired by her, I opened a plastic surgery clinic for words that are unhappy with their appearance. None came forward. This could have been due to their lack of hearing or my lack of advertising. I was about to abort the whole exercise when there was a sudden knock at the door.
‘Come in’, I said.
‘Hi’, Hi said.
‘Hello Hi, so…you feel a little abrupt, yeah?’ I said.
‘I do’, Hi said.
‘People think you’re shallow, yeah?’ I said.
‘They do’ Hi said.
‘You’d like a extra syllable and you’d like me to make you do what you don’t want to do, yeah?’ I said.
‘Badbye’ Hi said, and left with the face of a serial killer.
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