DEAR MARY

Easter is a-coming and the kids will be getting fat, for chocolate rabbits have supplanted the story of your sadly deceased son. Don’t get me wrong, no one in their right mind would wish tragedy on any mother, but you did seem to get over it pretty quick. Maybe it was because he came back to life 3 days later and you simply didn’t have time to grieve, or your mind was on something else, like the laundry.

Anyway, it all ended out peachy. Jesus got his fan club, just like David Blane (incidentally, is he related to you in any way?). And lucky old you got your lovely lad back. Honestly, it’s quite a story, have you ever thought of selling the film rights? The church could do with a few bob.

Before I go, I’d love to know what you make of Easter in 2013. Are you a Milk Tray mum or a Tobleroner? Bet you’re partial to a bit of Turkish Delight. Yes I know it’s technically eaten when your wee boy was born, but frankly we’re busy folk and we get these festivities muddled because they stick the same old crap on telly.

Now off you pop. Joseph’s had a hard day’s graft and needs his pie and spuds. He’s also fond of a spot of suet and custard, so get your pinny on missus.

Yours unfaithfully

A billion or so people

x

EXTRACT 298 FROM ‘ABRIDGED SENTENCES FOR SOL LEWITT’

Walk towards Infinity (2013)

80 x 180 x 70 mm, Cotton, stone and kelp salvaged from Vault beach
Unique Edition of 1 for Material

To buy this and other artworks, and read 312 other extracts: http://www.materialpress.org/?/limitededitions/2013/PeterKirby/

EXTRACT 264 FROM ‘ABRIDGED SENTENCES FOR SOL LEWITT’

Women are Weather, Men are Land (2013)

30 x 160 x 110 mm, Plastic letters, unidentifiable foam salvaged from Vault beach
Unique Edition of 1 for Material

To buy this and other artworks, and read 312 other extracts:  http://www.materialpress.org/?/limitededitions/2013/PeterKirby/

EXTRACT 125 FROM ‘ABRIDGED SENTENCES FOR SOL LEWITT’

Write the exact middle sentence of 1000 books (2013)

50 x 100 x 80 mm, Twine, plastic beads, flint salvaged from Bexhill Beach
Unique Edition of 1 for Material

To buy this and other artworks, and read 312 other extracts: http://www.materialpress.org/?/limitededitions/2013/PeterKirby/

EXTRACT 65 FROM ‘ABRIDGED SENTENCES FOR SOL LEWITT’

All the things you said you’d never do but did V

all the things you said you’d do but never did V

all the things you said you’d never do and never did V

all the things you said you’d do and did (2013)

14 x 100 mm, Cotton, rubber tube salvaged from Vault beach
Unique Edition of 1 for Material

To buy this and other artworks, and read 312 other extracts: http://www.materialpress.org/?/limitededitions/2013/PeterKirby/

EXTRACT 313 FROM ‘ABRIDGED SENTENCES FOR SOL LEWITT’

She became obsessed with being last…last one away at the lights, last one in the queue, last one to come during sex, last one to cry at a funeral, she’d not get out of the bath until the last drop of water sank down the plug hole, she never left a crumb of food or a droplet of drink, she’d give homeless people her last coin each day, and before she shut her eyes each night she’d pray to George Bernard Shaw’s shroud above her bed and say: “Today George, I am thoroughly used up.”

For the other 312 extracts, please venture here: http://www.materialpress.org/?/limitededitions/2013/PeterKirby/