THE JARUG

JOYENCHOLY (# 74,861)

Dear OED,

Put down your DIY dictionary for a second, would you? There’s a knock at your door. Open it and invite the applicant in. Offer up a seat, don’t be rude now.

Allow me to present JOYENCHOLY – the state of being happy through one’s own personal sadness.

Yes, like schadenfreude, but without the sadistic buzz of someone else’s misfortune.

And a little like Anhedonia, the inability to experience pleasure.

Before you find fault with its validity and ask if it’s been corroborated by qualified shrinks the world over, remember 2013′s entry into the OED…’selfie’. Now, was that rubber stamped by eminent photographers? Precisely. So, ignore the author and just feel the feeling. Yes, that gentle numbness radiating through your nerve ends, telling your sensory endings to sulk. Give in to sadness and the world looks up. Really. Pessimists are the happiest people alive. Nothing exceeds their expectations, so life turns out for the better, every time you think it won’t.

In the years to come, we shall be prescribed joyencholia by doctors and sold joyencholia by politicians. Indirectly, it could crack world peace if we only wake up and smell the stale milk within the coffee.

So, unite with me, my fellow joyencholics, and spill your glass down your front. For the in and out tray, of real emotion, shall balance inside us all.

10 BRAINIEST DOGS EVER WHO EACH SNIFFED THEIR OWN BACKSIDE

  1. SNOOPY – the only hound who could out-think and out-quote the greatest philosophers without speaking a word.
  2. LAIKA – Russian space dog held a PHD in astro-physics, but kept it quiet so as not to humiliate its fellow astronauts.
  3. LASSIE – Always knew the plot despite being surrounding by a support cast of knucklehead humans.
  4. K9 – Looked almost as clever as its owner Dr Who yet by all accounts was unable to change a light bulb for fear of electrocution.
  5. SNOWY – Spent its entire life galavanting after TinTin who still denies charges of bestiality.
  6. SHEP – The only dog to front up a kids TV show for a decade without ever shitting on set.
  7. BOLT – Loses marks for being cloned and playing second fiddle funny to Jack Black’s hamster in an orb.
  8. ROWLF- Possibly the dopiest looking mutt, this 4 legged idiot savant found redemption as the Muppets virtuoso pianist.
  9. DOUGAL – As the stoner hound on The Magic Roundabout, Dougal gave up life as a sniffer dog for one of mind-altering drugs.
  10. SCOOBY DOO – If ever there was a fuckwit mutt, it’s Scooby Doo…ain’t that right Shaggy?