HOW TO BREACH THE SEVEN PRINCIPLES OF PUBLIC LIFE, BY THERESA MAY

The following text was originally published by the Nolan Committee under John Major in October 1994. Yes, really. If Lord Nolan was alive today, he may like to see the recent amendments (in brackets) added pathologically by Theresa May just before she went to bed last night after doing the deal with the DUP.

  1. SELFLESSNESS – Holders of public office should act solely in terms of the public interest (note: public means private & we means me). They should not do so in order to gain financial or other material benefits for themselves, their family, or their friends (unless their job is at risk).
  2. INTEGRITY – Holders of public office should not place themselves under any financial or other obligation (over £1,500,000,000) to outside individuals or organisations that might seek to influence them in the performance of their officials duties.
  3. OBJECTIVITY – In carrying out public business, including making public appointments, awarding contracts, or recommending individuals for rewards and benefits (except power to govern) as holders of public should makes choices on merit (or convenience).
  4. ACCOUNTABILITY – Holders of public office are accountable for their decisions and actions to the public and must submit themselves to whatever scrutiny is appropriate to their office (by their recently bought out fellow conspirators).
  5. OPENNESS – Holders of public office should be as open as possible (in private) about all the decisions and actions they take. They should give reasons for their decisions (if hey can be arsed) and restrict information only when the wider public interest clearly demands (ie: never).
  6. HONESTY – Holders of public office have a duty to declare any private interests (bar personal off shore accounts in tax havens) relating to their public duties and to take steps to resolve (with bribes) any conflicts arising in a way that protects the public interest.
  7. LEADERSHIP – Holders of public office should promote and support these principles by (strong and stable) leadership and (conflicting) example.

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