Her life was a movie, made up of all movies, every genre one can live and this is how she lived it.

Born on a bed of nails, the daughter of a monk and a pimp. Two fathers, no mothers, yet from day one the girl more than made up for the lack of oestrogen in the home. You see, she was blessed with a Nasonov’s gland, the first human to be so. Her pheromonic radius cast a net of many miles into which men fell, unable to walk where their legs intended. Instead, they back-pedalled into her vicinity, where their gender would sway.

You could say things progressed at pace. Go on, say it. Things progressed at a pace. There, now you’re telling the story.

Within a month, world peace was upon us as 93% of mankind became womankind. Those who resisted, resisted with all they had left – their stone age genes. These last few million men ate rocks, but despite a brief spike in palm hair, they too conceded their sex.

Animals followed, as they do, creating several super-species of she-creature en route. Mother Earth sat back on her axis, took up pilates and deep stratospheric respiration. In doing so she lucked out and met another planet that just happened to be hurtling by. And so begins the little bang theory (all lower case please ed) that led to the litter of planets that shall sustain all living things unto the infinite day (and beyond).

The end (aka, the beginning).


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