BOTHISM

The world has its binary knickers in a two-legged twist. And it hurts. Real bad. Thanks to a spate of double-dumb questions provoking divisive answers that cleaver families in half, we have become yodellers in our own echo craters, closed to the other view, violently disagreeing with anything that strays off our self-affirming, ever-narrowing sliver of what’s right.

Like global warming, gobstoppers and Arsene Wenger, this one side only syndrome can’t go on forever.

Something has to give.

Versus is curses.

Equals has sequels.

Welcome to bothism, small ‘b’ don’t you know. It’s a 2-way law that states that opposing things are at least 51% identical. It goes on to state that these so-called enemies are interdependent, they govern, nourish, develop and give life to each other. It believes totally in compliment and not at all in compromise, which is, in itself, quite a lot to get your preconceived head around.

It is founded on moments of linguistic nirvana, namely this:

“The test of a first rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function.” – yes, you know who said that…no, it wasn’t grandad after a few sherries at Xmas…it was…yes, that’s it. FSF.

And this:

“Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas, which, before their union, were not perceived to have any relation.” And that’s by, yes, don’t tell me, it’s coming, nope…it’s gone. MT. Oh, thanks.

This isn’t intended to ever be a manifesto. It’s more of a bridge. Instead of a wall. Not that all walls are bad. Some are great for climbing and dancing on, or leaping off (as any teenage kid on a quay in Cornwall will testify).

So go wrap your arms around the person you least like the look or views of, knowing deep down you overlap way past half way.

Try being both-ist.

And making the moth-ist.